JUST FOR FUN

CAMP JOKES

• You can compress the diameter of your rolled up sleeping bag by running over it with your car.
  
  
• Take this simple test to see if you qualify for solo camping. Shine a flashlight into one ear. If the beam shines out the other ear, do not go into the woods alone.
  
  
• A two-man pup tent does not include two men or a pup.
  
  
• A potato baked in the coals for one hour makes an excellent side dish.
  
  
• A potato baked in the coals for three hours makes an excellent hockey puck.
  
  
• You can start a fire without matches by eating Mexican food, then breathing on a pile of dry sticks.
  
  
• In emergency situations, you can survive in the wilderness by shooting small game with a slingshot made from the elastic waistband of your underwear.
  
  
• The guitar of the noisy teenager at the next campsite makes excellent kindling.
  
  
• A large carp can be used for a pillow.
  
  
• Check the washing instructions before purchasing any apparel to be worn camping. Buy only those that read "Beat on a rock in stream."
  
  
• The sight of a bald eagle has thrilled campers for generations. The sight of a bald man, however, does absolutely nothing for the eagle.
  
  
• It's entirely possible to spend your whole vacation on a winding mountain road behind a large motor home.
  
  
• Effective January 1, 1998, you will actually have to enlist in the Swiss Army to get a Swiss Army Knife.
  
  
• Bear bells provide an element of safety for hikers in grizzly country. The tricky part is getting them on the bears.
  
  
• In an emergency, a drawstring from a parka hood can be used to strangle a snoring tent mate.
  
  

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