JUST FOR FUN
Top 20 Things on a Survivalist's To-Do List
IN SPITE OF IT ALL, THERE'S STILL A REASON TO SMILE
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| 20. | Apologize to the neighbors for all of those silly "See Ya Sucker!" New Year's Eve remarks. |
| 19. | Think of new & exciting ways to use that expensive generator. |
| 18. | Find a grocery store receipt for 10,000 packets of Ramen noodles. |
| 17. | Apologize to the next door neighbor about the tripwire incident; offer to replace the dog. |
| 16. | Take the pork-and-beans skeet shooting. |
| 15. | Gather recipes for Spam, dehydrated potatoes , & crow. |
| 14. | Cancel subscription to Stockpilers Quarterly, but keep the free can opener. |
| 13. | Convert weapons back to semi-automatic. |
| 12. | Pitch "1,000 Ideas for Wheat Gluten" to Martha Stewart's people. |
| 11. | Return 753 videos to Blockbuster. |
| 10. | Water the yard, one lousy gallon at a time. |
| 9. | Prepare for the dreaded but little-known "Arbor Day Bug". |
| 8. |
Explain to the kids one more time why it was better to be prepared than to go on vacation to Disney World last year. |
| 7. | Learn how to disarm a Claymore mine before cutting the lawn. |
| 6. |
Laugh at all those losers out there fighting each other for scraps of food, and thank the Lord for the safety of the Bunker, cut off from all connection with the outside world. |
| 5. | Find the shyster who sold you all of that dehydrated water. |
| 4. | Wonder if we wouldn't have been better off getting zapped with Y2K. |
| 3. |
Convert my anti-Y2K-Bug tinfoil hat back into an anti-Katie Couric Mind-Control tinfoil hat. |
| 2. | Make sure the babes in the bunker still think we need to repopulate Earth. |
| 1. | Make friends with the 6 billion other Y2K survivors. |